


incandescently (for him.)

by gabilliam (vvhymack)



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, ambiguous geographical and historical setting, slow burn because it takes them 15k to kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvhymack/pseuds/gabilliam
Summary: “Ah, but it’s so precious when you do, I can’t help but think about it constantly,” Kun said with a smile. If it were anyone else, Ten would believe they were flirting. If Kun were anyone else, he might have called him out on it with a sly grin. But while Ten bullied and teased Kun about a vast majority of things, he couldn’t bring himself to do so when Kun unwittingly flirted with him because it would bring his own raw feelings to the surface. Emotions he still wasn’t entirely sure what to do with, what he could even do with.They were no longer the likely protagonists for the typical romance and it saddened Ten.





	incandescently (for him.)

**Author's Note:**

> this is 20k of unplanned word vomit so i apologize in advance. this fic is for quinn, whom i love with my entire heart and who deserves the world and much better than this work. happy birthday quinn i love u!

Sunlight filtered in through the stained glass, and Ten watched it dance on his skin, as the light breeze outside ruffled the trees. It was a fine day, bright and cool and instead of being outside, Ten was stuck in this underused hosting room, waiting for others to arrive. It was his house, so it seemed only polite that he would be there earlier to receive them. His late father’s lessons of punctuality still stuck with Ten as he settled onto the chair at least half an hour before the meeting.

It was the very occasion of his father’s passing that brought upon these particular guests and Ten, despite his already busy schedule of taking on the role of being the head of his house and managing his father’s estates, had to greet them, even if  _ they  _ were 4 months late to the wake. The mourning period, in Ten’s opinion, had passed, and there were things to be done, happiness to be found despite the loss, but there were social traditions to follow.

“You’re here early,” A voice startled Ten out of his thoughts and he focused his eyes to see Kun leaning against the archway leading into the room, looking at him with amusement. Ten’s heart automatically skipped a beat, but he smiled at his friend. 

“Father’s orders,” Ten said with a shake of his head. “I was just thinking.”

“Don’t,” Kun teased, moving off the wall and walking towards him. “You’ll hurt your head.”

“I resent that,” Ten responded with mock scandal. “What are you doing here?”

“Saw Renjun fencing outside and I was surprised you weren’t with him, out in the sun,” Kun said, coming to stand by his chair. He looked quite regal, like he belonged there, by Ten’s side. “I was sure I’d find you napping under the sun with the garden cats.”

“I don’t do that nearly as often as you make it out to be,” Ten complained but his heart soared. Any endearment from Kun, even if it was just that of him knowing Ten that well, made Ten feel things of all sorts before settling on warmth. Warmth, despite sitting in a concrete room where the windows didn’t open since they were for superficial vanity. All because Kun was beside him. 

“Ah, but it’s so precious when you do, I can’t help but think about it constantly,” Kun said with a smile. If it were anyone else, Ten would believe they were flirting. If Kun were anyone else, he might have called him out on it with a sly grin. But while Ten bullied and teased Kun about a vast majority of things, he couldn’t bring himself to do so when Kun unwittingly flirted with him because it would bring his own raw feelings to the surface. Emotions he still wasn’t entirely sure what to do with, what he  _ could _ even do with. 

Perhaps, before his father passed, he’d had fanciful ideas about youthful affairs and careless love but he didn’t think that was possible anymore. He was the head of his house now and he had his siblings and his mother to care for. Kun himself, with a father so often away for work and a mother with a dislike for the politics and business of power, was the default head of his household. He was certainly more of a father to Chenle and Dejun than his own father was. They were no longer the likely protagonists for the typical romance and it saddened Ten.

“Who are you hosting?” Kun asked softly, breaking Ten out of his reverie of staring at Kun in rapture. Perhaps Ten should try to be more subtle but that would be like asking a lion to be more delicate in a tiny china shop. A lion was a lion, with no care for bringing down dainty objects. Ten was Ten, with no care for social conventions at most times, especially when it came to love. Except, it seemed, when it came to protecting those he loved.

“A distant family, reportedly related to us through Father in some way,” Ten replied. “I’ve never met them in my life, so I don’t understand why they’d care to come so far, four months late at that!”

“The allure of an empty seat at the head of a rather profitable business,” Kun said thoughtfully.

“It’s not empty,” Ten pointed at the chair, his father’s chair at the head of the table, which he was currently seated on. “Has my figure become so slight that you no longer see me?”

“Don’t make me focus on that, you’ll make me want to drag you back home and feed you,” Kun groaned, eying Ten nonetheless with a frown. “Good thing you are having dinner with these people. But no, I see you. Of course I do. But you _ are _ unmarried.”

Ten froze. No one had brought that particular notion up yet. There simply hadn’t been enough time and his mother knew him and she was happy as long as everything was kept running and the pantry was full and she was free go on her adventures or splurge on books. His mother had never been the gossiping type and she didn’t particularly care if the other mothers in the neighbourhood boasted about their wedded sons and daughters. 

When Ten had brought it up to her in his youth, scared of her disappointment at his lack of interest at giving her an heir, she’d simply said, “For people who want their children married off, they sure do complain about the spouses an awful lot.” and left it at that. 

“I’m a man, Kun,” Ten pointed out slowly and Kun laughed, a sound that echoed across the room, brightening it up even momentarily. “We’ve discussed the patriarchy long enough with my mother and Renjun to know I don’t really  _ need _ to be married right now to have complete control over our estates.”

“Maybe so,” Kun said fondly, pushing Ten’s hair away from his eyes with gentle fingers as Ten looked up at him. “But there’s an empty seat beside you and I’m simply preparing you for the idea that perhaps they have a child they want to wed to you for a seat at this table. I suggest you tone down your usual flirty behaviour if you don’t want rumours of you leading some poor girl on, to run amok.”

It was sound advice and not something Ten had not considered since he’d gotten the letter two days ago that the family was expected to arrive at their house at past noon. As he thought over Kun’s words in silence, his heart both bloomed and ached, perhaps its growth detrimental to its well being. Flowers grew at the thought of Kun beside him, Kun being the rightful owner of that chair, how  _ right _ Kun was for him, how well they fit- and they withered when his thoughts found their way to how it would never be, how Kun had his own house to serve and he was more traditional, more willing to go along with rituals for the sake of his family. 

“I should get going,” Kun said finally, moving away, taking his warmth and comfort with him. “Come out sometime after you’ve finished entertaining your guests. I helped the cook make some of those sweets you like.”

Ten didn’t have time to respond or swoon at the fact that Kun made him his favourite foods when the appearance of a servant's announcements of the arrivals of the family made Ten stand up instinctively. A man and his wife, who bore no resemblance to any family member Ten had known, walked in along with their children among whom was a girl Ten’s age. Kun seemed to notice too and he pressed his lips together to stop himself from smiling at Ten in mirth. 

“Greetings, Master Leevanijkul. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Ten said, greeting the man with a handshake. 

“Master Leechaiyapornkul,” The man said, taking Ten’s hand and bowing slightly. It had felt odd in the beginning, having men older than him bow at him due to rank but Ten had gotten used to it quickly. “Lovely to see, even if it is due to such unfortunate circumstances. Might I introduce my wife and my children? Ah, I do believe my Araya is around your age.”

Ten greeted them politely, trying to ignore the mother bringing the pretty girl front and centre before realizing Kun was in the room. To be fair to the girl, she looked like she did not want to be there as badly as Ten felt. 

“This is Master Qian,” Ten said. “He’s the heir to the neighbouring estate and a close friend.”

“Greetings,” Kun said with a bright smile. “Nevermind me, I must return. You’ve had a long journey, do sit down! I’ll let the servants know to bring in refreshments on my way out.”

Kun left with a soft, fleeting touch at the small of Ten’s back and polite bow at the guests. Ten almost immediately missed him. His words stuck around, dancing in Ten’s mind as they got proven prudent and correct the more he talked to the family. He felt bad for the girl, wondering if he should marry her just to get her away from her parents. Soon, they were shown their rooms and were told the time for dinner.

His mother and siblings joined them at the dinner table. Both Kunhang and Renjun were, as expected, absolute demons but the guests seemed endeared by them regardless. Talk at dinner stayed superficial, any hints the family tried to make about marriage or union easy deflected by Ten’s family. After dinner, people started turning in for the night in quick succession, in the end leaving only Ten, who sat alone for a few moments, gathering himself before getting up to wash up. He passed by the living room and paused, surprised to find his mother sitting there. She looked up from her book when she saw him and smiled, gesturing for him to come and sit with her.

“Quite the guests we have,” She said when Ten down and he snorted. She naturally had a soft voice so there was no real threat of being overheard being impolite. She lightly hit his arm in reproach at the undignified sound. 

“Yes. They come in mourning,” Ten replied drily. He closed his eyes and started massaging his temple but paused when he felt his mother’s hand threading through his hair and gentling massaging his scalp. “God, I’m so tired.”

“I know,” His mother said soothingly. “They’re only here for a few days. You’re the head of the house now, you should get used to this.”

“Maybe I should get married to someone just so I don’t have to deal with any of this,” He said jokingly.

“There’s no rush,” His mother said. “I think Kunhang and Renjun’s love escapades and strifes are quite enough to keep the community entertained for now.”

Ten did  _ not _ want to think about the things his brothers got up to in their spare time. Kunhang with his on again off again explosive relationship that seemed to restart before it even ended and Renjun with his string of broken hearts he left behind. His sister was too young, still finding boys revolting and Ten- well. He was hopelessly in love with an unattainable man so he should count himself out of the game. 

“Here,” His mother said, removing her hands and making him open his eyes. “Kun sent these earlier.”

It was the sweets that Kun had mentioned earlier. They had no name since they were Kun’s own creation. It was gelatin for sure, rubbery and squishy but sweet, probably mixed in with dreaded fruit Ten wouldn’t normally eat and coated with sugar. The plate was missing a few and he eyed his mother suspiciously, who giggled.

“I did steal a few,” She confessed. “Although I wouldn’t call it stealing since the young man  _ did  _ say it was for the house.”

“He did that out of politeness!” Ten complained. “They’re  _ mine _ . You’re forgiven but don’t you dare let the demons catch sight of this.”

“Of course not,” His mother replied and Ten laughed before taking a piece and eating it. It wasn’t, objectively, anything phenomenal. His own cooks made desserts that were more intricate and delicious but this sticky, squishy thing between Ten’s fingers brought him more personal joy than all the other sweets combined. “I saw Kun leaving the estate earlier when the guests arrived. The servants told me he was looking for you. Did he find you?”

“Yes,” Ten said. “He was just warning me that I might be meeting a potential wife today. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“He’s a smart one,” His mother said and Ten nodded his agreement. “I’m surprised  _ he’s _ not married yet. He’s wealthy and certainly handsome and a decent head on his shoulders on top of that! I’m surprised girls aren’t lined up-”

“Please, don’t,” Ten blurted out before he could stop himself. “I’m sure there are plenty of girls lined up if the looks he gets when we got into town are any estimation.”

“Are you jealous of him?” His mother asked after a pause and Ten didn’t know how to respond. He was  _ jealous _ , sure. He was always jealous- when girls touched Kun’s arm with intent, when boys sent him bedroom eyes and lingered their hands too long in his. When he got poetry read to him in the guise of practice by university students, when he got asked to dance multiple times at parties. But he wasn’t jealous  _ of _ Kun but rather, of everyone else. Everyone who got a flustered response from Kun, anyone who had made Kun blush with their forwardness.  _ Especially _ of people whom Kun had reciprocated the flirting.

“Not of him,” He finally said and his mother let out a sound of understanding. When he looked at her, he saw sorrow in her eyes, sorrow for him and his misery and it made Ten want to cry. It made him want to curl up around her like he was 7 years old again and just sob until he felt numb, until he didn’t feel those awful feelings. 

“Oh, my son,” She said softly, reaching out and brushing the hair that fell over his eyes, reminding him of when Kun had done the same. Two people he loved to death and back making sure he could see. Wonderful. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mama,” He said, leaning into her touch before pulling away. “You should get some sleep. Don’t stay up reading your books again and fall asleep on the armchair. You know it’s bad for your body.”

Sleep was not restful that night, nor the next and Ten didn’t feel balanced again until the Leevanijkul family, and the implications that came along with them, left. Ten felt like he could breathe again without the Leevanijkul parents ambushing him almost every meal about marriage prospects and such, even worse beating around the bush. Ten  _ hated _ people who didn’t speak directly, expecting others to pick up on their insane cues. Ten did not enjoy playing word games with people he did not know or whose company he did not enjoy.

It was what he complained about to Johnny as he wrote his letter, taking a moment to calm himself lest his harsh penmanship tear the paper. So far, he had filled 9 parchments on his thoughts on everything from Kun to the Leevanijkul family to the fact that  _ maybe _ if Johnny was  _ back _ from his ridiculous ideas to see the New World and just  _ married Ten _ , Ten wouldn’t be  _ having _ any of these issues. The last point was undoubtedly a waste of parchment since Johnny would only remind Ten that they  _ couldn’t _ get married, they were both men, and that even if they could,  _ which they couldn’t _ , Johnny wasn’t going to be Ten’s settlement plan.

Ten knew this but he still complained at length  about it. Johnny was a hopeless romantic, someone who would marry for  _ love _ and all that nonsense. Johnny also thought Ten was ridiculous and that if he really loved Kun, he’d go for it and find a way. Ten had replied, and he quoted, “Fuck thine self.” Johnny knew full well the depth of Ten’s emotions and the volatility of them. 

Regardless, ranting to Johnny was cathartic and knowing he would get just as long a response about Johnny’s own adventures or misadventures and Ten signed his name with a relieved sigh and a flourish. He finished the letter and then went back to his actual work, which despite the fantasies of the young romantics, did not consist of just lounging around and being rich and angsting for a wife but rather a lot of long, boring letters about the state of different properties and such. His family didn’t own many but they were intricately involved in the ones they did, making sure it was in good condition and helping out the people who lived on their land the best they could. So Ten couldn’t simply  _ ignore _ complaints and as such, he had to read through each and every letter and find the ways and means to fix the problem. 

It was hard work but Ten didn’t hate it. It was a good living and it did leave him free time, if not as much as before. It simply meant his free time was now more precious to him and this was  _ not _ how he wanted to spend it.

“Do lighten up,” Kunhang said from beside him. The music was loud and Kunhang had to lean in to make sure the words would be heard. “You look like you’re miserable.”

“I  _ am _ miserable,” Ten said. He eyed his brother, who was standing at an odd angle. “What are you doing?”

“What’s there to be miserable about, dear brother? We’re at a party! Liven up,” Kunhang said. “Also, that girl is eyeing me and I’m trying to show her my best side for optimal viewing pleasure.”

“What happened to _ your _ girl?” Ten asked.

“We are rethinking our relationship,” Kunhang said mechanically and Ten rolled his eyes. He left his brother to his weird posturing and walked around, talking to a few people but mostly milling about until he found who he was looking for. 

“What are you two doing in this dark corner,” Ten asked as he approached. Kun and Doyoung were sitting in the far end of a room, stopping mid-conversation when Ten stood by them. 

“I’ve used up my social tolerance of the day,” Doyoung said and Kun patted him on the thigh sympathetically. “If I have to hear another person tell me about their ailments, I will lose my mind.”

“Doctor’s working hours are closed,” Kun said firmly and Doyoung nodded before taking a swig of the drink in his hand as Ten watched with amusement. A drunk Doyoung was endlessly amusing, sure, but Kun and himself would end up having to take care of him so Ten hoped he slowed down as the night went on. “Ten, have your guests left?”

“Yes, thank God,” Ten groaned, momentarily sagging his body before realizing where he was. There was no seat available and while Kun’s lap looked quite welcoming, Ten wasn’t nearly drunk enough for  _ that _ so he stood by them instead, leaning against Kun’s chair for support. 

“Did they leave a proposal?” Doyoung teased and Ten glared at him. 

“No, they did not,” Ten sniffed. “Bold of anyone to assume I’ll just marry the first pretty face presented to me.”

“She’s hardly the first,” Doyoung muttered into his drink. 

“She was quite nice, though,” Ten added, not wanting to mar someone else’s character for no reason. “I do hope she finds happiness and all that.”

“And all that,” Doyoung echoed. Ten wasn’t sure why, since Doyoung  _ knew _ Ten wasn’t the best with sentimental words. 

“That’s nice,” Kun said, smiling widely. “You’re free now.”

“For now,” Ten said darkly, the implication, despite his mother’s understanding, making his stomach churn. Undoubtedly, now that he thought about it, there would be more such guests vying for a bit of the estate. Ten did not begrudge them their efforts, he knew it was a harsh world and he was incredibly privileged but- he was also incredibly tired and his heart already belonged to another. 

“You are much too dramatic, Ten,” Kun said, reaching out and taking Ten’s hand. Irrationally, Ten wanted to squeal like a child but he heroically repressed the feeling. “Stop worrying about it quite so much. You’ll get grey hair early then no one will want to marry you.”

“Bold coming from yo-” Ten’s teasing was interrupted but Kun had already begun smiling and pulling Ten closer with his hand. Kun had a tendency to wrap himself around Ten when he was teased or bullied, as though he could physically make Ten quiet down. It was a softer, lazier version of Renjun’s chokehold over the Na boy when he got a bit too affectionate. Ten prepared himself for the enveloping warmth but it never came. 

“Hello,” A shy voice said and all three men startled, forgetting they weren’t in their own little world. Doyoung hid behind his liquor after a quick smile but he had nothing to fear. The young girl wasn’t here for him or Ten. Her eyes only fell on Kun, who looked up at her kindly and earnestly. “We spoke earlier.”

“I remember,” Kun said warmly, getting up and letting go for Ten’s hand. It burned. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m sorry if this is too forward of me but,” The girl hesitated then continued. “Would join me for the next dance?”

She was playing with her fingers nervously and Kun’s eyes fell to them before he smiled again, dimples showing. 

“Of course, I would be honoured,” He said and followed her to the dance floor. Ten took Kun’s seat and stole Doyoung’s liquor, downing it instantly. 

“You have your own,” Doyoung said with disdain, plucking the drink from his hand. 

“Yes, but it felt better to take it from you,” Ten shot back and Doyoung shook his head. Their conversation halted but the atmosphere was by no means uncomfortable, Doyoung content with his drink and some silence and Ten looking for Kun to come back mournfully. He’d  _ just _ found him. 

“You can’t even see the dance floor,” Doyoung mumbled and Ten glared at him. He couldn’t  _ see _ the ballroom from their spot but he could hear the soft music that told him it was a slow dance. Which meant that Kun was dancing closely and slowly with the girl. It was fine, they had looked good together and she seemed quite alright, not a mean spirited person from what Ten could gauge. Maybe this could be good, the girl and Kun could get married and then Ten would know for sure he had no chance and he’d be heartbroken and then he could finally get over it or at least truly accept it so his heart could stop trying to beat out of his chest and land directly in Kun’s hands. 

“Please stop thinking,” Doyoung groaned. “You’re so loud.”

“I haven’t said a word!” Ten protested. It was unfair, how Doyoung targeted him for absolutely no reason whatsoever. 

“You’re  _ vibrating _ with anxiety,” Doyoung said tiredly. “I told you my doctor hours are closed and those include my therapy hours.”

“I don’t need your therapy,” Ten scoffed. “I have Johnny for that, thank you very much.”

“How  _ is  _ Johnny?” Doyoung asked and their conversation devolved into catching up with the lives of their mutual friends, Ten finding out Jaehyun had adopted yet another animal and Taeyong was still in culinary school in Paris. Taeil, much like Johnny, was wandering around but he insisted on calling it a ‘tour’ and they supposed he wasn’t far off, with his string of shows that were never announced early but always sold out. Doyoung was a good conversationalist even when he was exhausted, if only because he was with Ten and he didn’t need to put as much energy into social politeness and small talk. They’d known each other far too long for them to put effort into their mindless bickering. 

Ten barely noticed when Kun returned, if only his entire being wasn’t so fined tuned to be aware of Kun’s presence. 

“How was the dance?” Doyoung asked Kun and Kun shrugged. 

“Fine,” Kun said, not sounding enamoured much to Ten’s delight.

“A bit of a lacklustre description of your future wife,” Ten teased and watched Kun turned flustered as he swatted Ten in annoyance.

“That’s not incredibly high class of you,” Another voice interrupted them and Ten was ready to  _ snap _ . This was  _ his _ time with Kun. Who did these people think they were that they could demand Kun’s attention away from Ten?

Kun frowned and turned but Ten’s anger melted when he saw the person behind Kun. Kun slapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from making a scene and even Doyoung seemed to sit up straighter.

“Sicheng?” Kun asked softly once he’d removed his hand from his mouth. “Oh, my God,  _ Sicheng _ .”

The hug Kun enveloped Sicheng in was tight and lingering but it didn’t leave a bad taste in Ten’s mouth because it was Sicheng and Ten was just as eagerly awaiting his turn. It wouldn’t come soon, though, because even though they weren’t hugging anymore, Kun still had an arm around the boy and it seemed he wasn’t likely to let go anytime soon. 

“Sicheng,” Ten said warmly and Sicheng smiled at him. It was a slightly different smile than Ten remember but this was a different Sicheng. He stood straighter, he no longer looked away after a few moments of eye contact and most importantly, he smiled wider and more genuinely. These were changes Ten had only gotten to see the beginning of before Sicheng had run off with his lover, eloped according to the town gossip. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“It’s wonderful to see you,” Sicheng said and sincerity was evident in his voice. 

“We missed you,” Doyoung piped up. “Kun was moping for a month after you left before you sent your first letter.”

“I was settling into a different life,” Sicheng said with a laugh. “I apologize for not keeping in touch better. We’ve been busy.”

“And where is your better half?” Ten asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Sicheng rolled his eyes at him, the gesture so familiar it settled warmly against Ten’s heart.

“He is socialising,” Sicheng said, looking around. “We weren’t really planning on stopping but we were passing by and Yuta convinced me to come to this party.”

“Yuta does have a way of doing that,” Kun laughed. 

“I told him I’d throw him off our carriage if I didn’t get a chance you meet you all so I suppose I won’t have the opportunity to do that anymore,” Sicheng said, almost sad at the prospect. 

“How long are you staying? Ten asked. 

“ _ Where _ are you staying?” Kun demanded. 

“I don’t really have a question but I feel like I should chime in,” Doyoung said and Sicheng laughed at that. 

“We don’t really have anywhere to stay since we were just planning on passing by so we’ll leave once the night ends,” Sicheng informed them and Kun gasped.

“What do you mean you have nowhere to stay? You know my home is always open to you!” Kun insisted.

“And my husband?” Sicheng asked with a raised eyebrow and Kun grew even more irritated. 

“Of course!” 

“God, I love it when you call me your husband,” Yuta appeared at Sicheng’s side almost magically, as if the word  _ husband _ had summoned him. “Doesn’t it sound lovely?”

“Positively enchanting,” Doyoung said in a bored voice. He then poked Ten. “Move, I want Yuta to sit with me.”

“I missed you too, old friend,” Yuta said with a beam, giving Sicheng’s hand a squeeze before settling into space Ten had been forced to vacate. “Has my latest letter arrived yet?”

“No,” Doyoung replied grumpily. As Doyoung and Yuta continued their conversation, Ten heard Kun turn to Sicheng. 

“Sicheng, you  _ know _ you’re always welcome. You  _ and  _ Yuta. We have enough room,” Kun said earnestly.

“Thanks, Kun-ge, but I don’t really think your mother will approve,” Sicheng replied drily. “I really don’t want to deal with parental disapproval right now.”

Kun frowned, looking ready to argue but Ten joined the conversation before he could continue. 

“You’re welcome to stay with me, Sicheng,” Ten offered. “We have space and you won’t get any parental disapproval. Or sibling disapproval. Or any disapproval, really.”

“Really?” Sicheng asked, disbelief bleeding into his voice but Ten stood his ground. 

“Absolutely! My mother is very educated and so are my siblings. Our servants- well, they’re perfectly nice people and if they’re bigoted towards you, I’ll dock their pay!”

“My family was very educated too,” Sicheng pointed out bitterly, wilting a little at the memory of being disowned and cast out- symbolically, of course, since Sicheng had already left by then. 

‘Trust me,” Ten reassured Sicheng, patting him on the arm. “You’re welcome. Yuta, stay over at mine tonight.”

“Uh,” Yuta said incoherently as the sudden assertion distracted him from his conversation before catching himself. “That’s up to Sicheng.”

“Sicheng, let’s go meet my mother,” Ten said, taking Sicheng’s arm in his and dragging him along, in turn causing Kun to tag along with them. Odd looks were sent their way as well as scandalized whispering but Ten paid it no mind. He came to a halt only in front of his mother, who smiled softly at them. 

“Hello, children,” She greeted and Ten almost wanted to disagree, to say he was a  _ man _ but then realized he was arm linked with Sicheng who was pulling Kun along and they  _ did _ seem very childish. He pulled away and stood properly, as a man of his stature and station should and Sicheng followed cue. Kun never looked particularly dishevelled no matter what so he simply smiled at Ten’s mother. 

“Mother, you remember Sicheng,” He introduced and his mother smiled fondly at the tall boy. “I’m asking him to stay for a while with us since he’s passing by but he’s refusing. You must insist.”

“Ah, Ten,” His mother laughed. “You’re the head of the house now.  _ You _ must insist.”

“Mother,” Ten whined and both his mother and Kun laughed at that.

“Well. If you’re planning on remaining here a little longer, you and your partner are more than welcome to stay with us,” Ten’s mother said with a polite bow. “ _ We _ insist.”

Ten didn’t miss the way Sicheng’s eyes seemed to have teared up a little and neither had Kun, who rubbed his back discreetly. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Ten- I mean, Mrs. Leechaiyapornkul,” Sicheng said with a flush. “I would be honoured to accept.”

“Oh, that’s lovely!” Ten’s mother said honestly. “Ten’s always locked away in his study now, the house does get a little quiet when the children are off doing their own thing.”

Ten beamed at his mother in pride as she continued her conversation with Sicheng, who drank up every word she said. He was so fixated on seeing them that he almost didn’t notice Kun come up beside him. Then his senses tingled and he turned to see Kun staring at him fondly. 

“Hello,” Ten said, startled at their proximity. 

“Hi,” Kun replied. “That was nice of you.”

“It was only polite,” Ten shrugged. He wasn’t doing it to be nice. He wanted Sicheng to stay a little while longer, he knew Kun wanted Sicheng to stay a little while longer and Ten knew that despite all the barbed insults they hurled at each other, Doyoung would have a hard time letting go of Yuta tomorrow. 

“Hm,” Kun said contemplatively. “Your mother’s quite something. I didn’t know she took such a liberal view on such issues.”

“I didn’t either,” Ten admitted. “She’s not incredibly outspoken most of the time but I suppose it’s a natural product of being well educated and empathetic and then having Renjun and I as sons.”

Kun looked surprised at that, pausing like he wanted to ask something but shaking his head. The praising of Ten’s wonderful mother continued.

It wasn’t until they were at Ten’s estate later that night that Ten got a moment alone with Kun. Doyoung hadn’t come with them, citing that he had to look for Jeno and get him home but promised to come for dinner the following day. Kun had joined them since he lived right next door but the estates were quite large and it was getting late. So when Kun held him back after they’d arrived and Ten’s mother was going forward showing their guests to their rooms, asking him to walk him home, Ten agreed without question.

The night was cool as they walked through the field, taking a shortcut that leads straight to Kun’s backdoor. Kun’s pace was slow so Ten matched it, taking joy in their private stroll. Their conversation consisted of mundane topics but Ten loved talking to Kun about anything.

“Hey,” Kun said, stopping Ten with a hand on his forearm. “Look, a shooting star.”

It was a perfectly innocuous gesture, undoubtedly, on Kun’s part. Kun adored the stars and would get excited at every celestial phenomenon he could see. So he, by all means, meant nothing by it when he grabbed Ten’s arm in excitement, looking up. He wouldn’t have noticed Ten stumbling closer, almost pressed against Kun, his heart hammering out of his chest at the proximity. Ten looked up and caught the tail end of the shooting star and then looked at Kun instead. 

It was easy to get away with. The night was dark in the field, with only a candle that Kun was steadily holding giving them light and the moon and stars for company. While Kun stared up at the skies, perhaps waiting for another shooting star, perhaps just content looking at the stationary stars, Ten looked at Kun and the way he seemed almost celestial himself when he was bathed in moonlight. 

In Ten’s less than humble opinion, Kun was more beautiful than all the stars and celestial bodies he so fondly cherished. Stars were born from Kun’s laughter, he was the steady gravity and timely rotation of the planet around the sun. Steadfast. Ten pulled away from the warmth of Kun’s body and Kun startled, looking down at him with wide eyes and Ten felt stars collide within him, explosive and harsh. 

“Did you see?” Kun asked, voice a whisper and in the quiet on the night, it felt appropriate. 

“Yes. Beautiful,” Ten said, revenant, not talking about the stars. Perhaps Kun picked up on this because his cheeks pinked and he stepped back. They picked up their walk again. 

“Did you make a wish?” Ten asked and Kun hummed. 

“Not particularly,” Kun said. “I was rather blown away by the beauty of it to remember to.”

“What would you have wished for?” Ten pried. The silence that followed was contemplative. 

“Happiness,” Kun said finally and Ten turned to him, frowning. 

“Aren’t you happy now?” Ten asked. 

“I am not sad,” Kun replied softly but that was not the ideal answer and he knew that because he smiled softly at Ten. “Don’t worry.”

“How can I not?” Ten bit back but then took a deep breath and steadied himself. “What’s wrong?”

“Not much,” Kun said mildly. “What would you have wished for?”

“Kun,” Ten insisted but Kun brushed him off. 

“Let it go, Ten,” He said kindly with a plea in his eyes. “I am not in the mood to delve into those thoughts right now.”

Ten conceded to that. He would ambush Kun earlier in the day, when they both were not exhausted from socialising. 

“Tell me what you would have wished for,” Kun requested as they approached Kun’s home. 

_ You _ , Ten wanted to say.  _ A kinder, less complicated world where you and I could be together. For you to love me back like that, like you do the stars. _

“World peace,” Ten said with a cheeky grin and revelled in Kun’s laugh. 

The walk back was quicker since he was alone and he retired for the night when he found out that everyone else had too. He tried very hard not to think about the stroll or Kun’s warmth against his body but in the end, he drifted off to sleep with thoughts of eyes that reflected stars and mouth begging to be kissed. 

Ten had an early meeting the following morning so he didn’t get to see Sicheng and Yuta at breakfast, having gotten up and left before the rest of the family had woken up. The accountant his father had trusted was a busy one and dedicated time to projects in chunks so Ten was working on the numbers with him for hours on end. Despite being told he didn’t need to be there, Ten insisted. He apologized for making the man’s job more difficult but he wanted to learn and at least have a basic understanding of what was going on. The man waved away the apology and continued with his explanation. 

By the time Ten was walking home for dinner, he had a better understanding of his position but his brain felt fried. He ran into Doyoung on the way to his with an equally tired out brain and they both walked in relative silence, enjoying each others company. 

“Are you alright?” Kun whispered to him at the dinner table. Around them, the table was lively with chatter, conversations overlapping and chaotic. 

“Fine,” Ten whispered back. He was merely tired but the question reminded him of the same sentiment he expressed last night. He was about to ask when his sister interrupted him and he turned his attention towards her because she never got much of it. 

Chariya was born 11 years after him and had not yet become a woman yet. When she was born, he tried to spend time with her but he was busy being trained and schooled so he perhaps wasn’t as close to her as he was to Kunhang and Renjun who were both only a few years his junior. Nevertheless, he loved her just as much. She was bright and inquisitive and independent, much like their mother in her devouring of books and knowledge and like their father in her individualism. Ten hoped that maybe someday, he could impart a bit of himself to her too. 

“I want to learn to fence,” She said and the table quieted down.

“Um,” Ten looked at his mother, who pressed down a smile and looked away. She restarted her conversation with Yuta and Doyoung and soon, the table went back to its state of chatter, except now Chariya was looking at Ten expectantly. Ten couldn’t find any reason to  _ deny _ her but he figured as his position as Head, he should at least make it a littler harder for her. It’s what his father would have done. 

“Why?” He asked, going back to his food. It wasn’t particularly well seasoned that day or perhaps that was simply his tiredness talking. 

“I read about it,” She replied wistfully. “And Renjun and Kunhang know how it do it, however poorly-”

“Hey!” The brothers protested in unison, food still in Kunhang’s mouth but they were ignored by the youngest sibling. 

“-and it’s only fair that I should be given the opportunity too! I should be able to defend myself,” Chariya ended and then went back to slicing up her meat into neat little squares, waiting for Ten’s response. She raised valid points and Ten couldn’t  _ really _ refuse her.

“How long have you wanted to fence, Chariya?” Kun asked kindly from beside him. Ten watched a blush appear on her cheeks at being talked to directly by Kun and it both amused Ten and made him want to pat her sympathetically. They were on the same boat where that was concerned. 

“I read a story a week ago that featured it,” She replied excitedly. “Then a few days ago, I dreamt about it. So I must.”

“Do you think I should let her?” Ten asked, half teasing but half serious. Kun did not have sisters but he had raised his brothers and Ten knew from personal experience that they could be a handful. “Would you let Chenle?”

“Chenle abhorred his classes,” Kun said with a laugh. “But he had to do them. Dejun enjoyed them a little more but not by much. So I let them take classes in things they were more interested in as compensation.”

“See! Compensation!” Chariya said, repeating the new word awkwardly. 

“But,” Kun said, looking at her fondly. “I make them wait three months.”

“ _ Three months? _ ” She gasped. “That’s  _ forever _ .”

It would seem like forever to a child barely past a decade old. 

“Maybe so,” Kun said with a laugh. “But I need to make sure it’s not just a passing fancy they have. Lessons and equipment cost money and we don’t like to waste.”

Chariya looked at Ten with fearful eyes, knowing how susceptible her brother was to Kun, especially when it made sense. It’s how the Leechaiyapornkul siblings knew who to go to when they  _ really _ wanted something from their brother he was less likely to agree to. Fortunately for her, Ten’s brain was much too fried to deal with her glum mood if he punished her like that. 

“Let me know again in 6 weeks if you are still interested,” Ten said and Chariya brightened. Six weeks were less than  _ three whole months _ , she was sure they’d fly by. 

“You’re getting good at this,” Kun said softly and Ten looked at him. 

“With your help,” Ten smiled and Kun’s dimples appeared. 

It was moments like these that stayed with Ten, even in their multitudes, when he was going to bed and fantasizing. Moments that made it evident how right they were for each other, how Kun guided Ten and it made Ten remember his own fallacies. He’d been so tired, he’d forgotten to bring up Kun’s concerns of happiness. But then again, perhaps a dinner table with guests wasn’t the best place to bring that up. They didn’t get much time alone. Ten realized they barely did these days, ever since his father passed. 

In the beginning of the transition of power, Kun had been there an immense amount, a steady and wise partner in between the chaos and misery with Kun even sleeping over some days. Despite the sadness and confusion of those days, Ten remembered the way Kun looked first thing in the morning, still sleepy before breakfast, in a fond way. Once Ten had gotten a hold of the situation and didn’t need someone to hold his hand through it all, Kun had gone back to his own duties while Ten was swamped with his own. But by then, Ten had gotten used to Kun holding his hand. It had felt right and no one came close. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to find anyone else to be a partner for life when Qian Kun was right there, making everyone pale in comparison. 

_ Romantic partners are not business advisors _ , Johnny’s letter read in response to Ten’s when it arrived the following day.  _ I have read too much of your gushing of Kun to mistake your love for Kun as adoration for a fitting business advisor but sometimes, you do make me question it. Perhaps it is a bit much to ask of someone to be as fitting a sounding board as Kun is while still having his personality that you fell in love with. He is one of a kind, that man. It would be unfair of you to look at all potential partners in such a light and hold them all up to that impossible standard. _

“Then what do you want me to do,  _ settle _ ?” Ten muttered.

_ I would not ask you to settle, of course, _ The letter continued and Ten laughed.  _ That would be impossible and you do deserve a worthy partner. But perhaps if you don’t overcome your own cowardice and fear soon, then you have to accept someone different into your life. Not lesser, simply different. _

Ten rolled his eyes at the stricken out ‘settle’ before ‘accept’ and was already forming a response in his mind. 

_ My adventures are going well. I have quite a few notebooks filled with inspired stories and sketches. I will show them to you once my wanderlust wanes and I find my way back to you. Yours, Johnny. _

Ten wandered out of his study once he finished his letter to Johnny, needing a break from reading and found himself walking towards the parlour where he found Yuta and Sicheng sitting next to each other on an armchair, speaking in low voices. He studied them for a moment as they interacted, unaware of the company and it felt like he was intruding on a private moment even though they were perfectly decent. It was in the way Sicheng looked at Yuta or the way their hands were held between them, Yuta playing with Sicheng’s fingers as he spoke. It made something in Ten’s chest ache. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Ten asked, a sly grin adorning his features. Sicheng made to move farther apart but Yuta’s hand in his kept him in his place. Yuta looked unfazed and smiled at Ten. 

“Would you leave if you were?” Yuta shot back and Ten shook his head as he came to sit with them. 

“How are you enjoying your stay?” Ten inquired. 

“It’s lovely,” Sicheng spoke up. “We’ll be out of your hair soon but I really do enjoy being there.”

“There’s no rush, please,” Ten said in a hurry. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

“That’s very generous of you but we do have obligations we need to get to,” Yuta said with a laugh, patting Ten when he pouted. “But thank you for letting us rest here.”

“Of course,” Ten said. “You’re always welcome. When are you departing? We should have a small gathering before you do. Sicheng, have you met Jaehyun yet?”

“I have to  _ go _ and physically drag him out of his home,” Sicheng complained. “We were going to go do that today, as a matter of fact.”

“You say that like you both didn’t spend the same amount of time holed up indoors like the socially awkward beautiful men you are,” Yuta cooed and kissed Sicheng’s hand in response to his glare. 

“Invite him,” Ten offered. “When are you planning your departure?”

“Two nights from today,” Yuta said. 

“So let’s get everyone together tomorrow!” Ten proclaimed in excitement. While he’d worn off of large parties, he still enjoyed holding his own intimate gatherings with his close friends. It was even more joyous because they were not around often anymore, all of them adults with their own responsibilities and dreams. He was already running through a guestlist in his mind as Yuta and Sicheng agreed. He conversed with them for a while longer, finding out how much they adored his mother. Yuta apologized in advance for sowing the seeds of learning archery into Renjun’s mind. 

“Archery!” Ten wailed. “You’re going to get someone killed. Most probably Na Jaemin.”

“Renjun wouldn’t,” Sicheng insisted then paused. “He wouldn’t get caught.”

“You have far too much faith in my brother, Sicheng,” Ten sighed. “He gets quite idiotic about the people he truly loves.”

“Yes, I’m quite familiar with the type,” Sicheng said drily, looking at Yuta pointedly. Yuta grinned unabashedly, quite proud of his affections. 

“How’s your new town?” Ten asked.

“Nice,” Sicheng smiled contently. “The people know how to mind their own business, which is already quite extraordinary, in my opinion. We also live far off the main town and our neighbours are sweet. I miss Kun-ge’s cooking and Yuta is a disaster but we’re managing.”

“I  _ told _ you I’ll hire a cook once I get the opportunity to find one who won’t poison us,” Yuta pouted. “I make good eggs!”

It wasn’t until they left to see Jaehyun that Ten went back to his study and started planning the following evening.

The guest list was short, considering most of their close friends were abroad. Johnny and Taeil with their wanderlust and tour. Taeyong was at Paris at a culinary school and wouldn’t be back soon. That left really only Doyoung, Jaehyun and Kun to invite. Ten snickered to himself at the prospect of how disgruntled Doyoung would be at the late invitation. If it were any other occasion, Doyoung would have refused to show up out of spite but since it was essentially Yuta’s going away party, Doyoung had no choice. He sent a servant with the letter to Doyoung, asking him to come back with a rating of how annoyed Mr. Kim was from one to ten. The boy had worked with Ten long enough to know he was being serious. 

Ten then wandered down the path with Kun’s invitation, prepared to hand deliver it in hopes that he could get to see his friend. He passed by his siblings in the backyard, Chariya and Renjun play fighting with blunt fencing swords while Kunhang cheered for his sister from the sidelines. 

“Good luck, Chariya,” Ten encouraged as he passed them by and Renjun stomped his foot. 

“Is  _ no one _ in this family by my side?” He complained. “What happened to brotherly solidarity?”

“Finish him!” Kunhang exclaimed and Renjun barely avoided the sudden blow and shot his brother a look of betrayal before jumping back into the game. Ten left them to their games and soon approached Kun’s back door. He was just dropping off a letter and he was sure the workers of the house were at the back and he didn’t want to rush them to the front because of him. 

The maid that opened the door seemed surprised to see him there.

“Master Ten!” She said, stepping aside to let him through. “It’s been a while since you’ve come through.”

“I’m no longer a young boy trying to sneak into the kitchen to get sweets anymore, am I?” Ten replied with a laugh.

“Or trying to get Master Kun to leave his studies and join you outside,” The maid said with a twinkle in her eyes and Ten grinned at the memory. “He’s in the kitchen if you’re looking for him.”

“You’d think that man doesn’t have a real job with the amount of time he spends over cookers,” Ten muttered, making his way to the kitchen.

“He’s more than capable of doing both,” The maid said defensively and he wrinkled his nose at her. She had seen Ten since he was a child so she paid him no mind. 

“Maybe so, but he’ll burn himself out,” Ten said. “He has a  _ cook _ .”

“We remind him constantly, Master Ten,” The maid said drily. “But it is quite hard to say no to the master of the house if he chooses to spend his free hours in the kitchen making desserts. We  _ have _ prohibited him from making actual dinner.”

“That’s a start,” Ten sighed then entered the kitchen and paused. He barely noticed the maid bowing and leaving, a bit too preoccupied with the sight of Kun bent over a counter, hair falling over his forehead as he arranged fruits over what Ten assumed was pudding or cake. He was dressed casually, appearance messier than it usually was when he was out and about and Ten’s heart leapt to his throat, making him choke on the sight. The crinkling of the parchment in Ten’s hand didn’t distract Kun from his task and Ten wanted to turn and leave when a pink tongue poked out in concentration. He didn’t know if he should move or let Kun know he was there for fear that Kun might get startled and ruin his masterpiece. 

His white blouse was airy and unbuttoned, exposing his neck and collarbones and his sleeves were rolled up, making Ten want to fling himself into the furnace. He bit his lip at the sight of the exposed forearm and wanted to kick himself. This was hardly the most scandalous or explicit thing he’d witnessed but here he was, his heart hammering at the sight of barely exposed skin. It was bad for his reputation for him to get so hot and bothered over what was essentially nothing. 

It wasn’t until Kun had straightened and stretched, looking at his creation proudly that Ten stopped fixating on the man and came to his senses. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Ten asked, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt inside. Kun, as predicted, startled before grinning at him. 

“This is work!” Kun insisted and Ten walked closer to inspect his masterpiece. “My cousin Yukhei is stopping by tomorrow and he adores this cake so it’s only my duty to make sure he gets it.”

“It’s your duty to tell you cooks to make it for dinner tomorrow,” Ten said, rolling his eyes but looked at the cake enviously. It looked quite good. “Yukhei’s coming?”

“He has a break from university and he is, and I quote, losing his mind on campus,” Kun said. “So I invited him over for a visit.”

“When is he arriving?”

“Sometime tonight or tomorrow morning,” Kun said without concern. Yukhei always had been a little vague on the details and they were happy when he showed up unharmed.

“You should bring him over tomorrow,” Ten said, handing Kun the invitation. “And bring your cake.”

“Bold of you to assume I accept your invitation,” Kun said drily and Ten wanted to somersault out of there. What gave Kun the  _ right _ to look like that and then tease him? Did he not  _ know _ Ten was almost exclusively attracted to people who bit back retorts at him. Even Doyoung looked mildly attractive when they were in the middle a fierce bickering session. 

“Bold of  _ you _ to assume I gave you a choice, Master Qian,” Ten said airly and Kun looked up at him at the honorific but Ten refused to meet his eye because he knew if he did, he would  _ die _ . He instead fixated on the flour marring his neck and then cursed Qian Kun again and stared the cake down instead. The air had turned tense, for whatever reason, and Kun was still staring at him.

“Ten,” Kun said softly, something in his voice that Ten couldn’t pinpoint but it made his heart fall to his stomach for some reason.

“Yes?” He whispered. 

“Look at me,” Kun demanded, his voice not harsh but firm. A ridiculous request, to be quite frank. Ten would rather gouge his eyes out at that point. 

“Why? You’re not much to look at,” Ten teased, stepping back from him and breaking their moment. “Don’t let Yukhei eviscerate the cake before it gets to us. I’ll be taking my leave.”

A hand at his wrist prevented his hasty departure and Ten wanted nothing more than to throttle Kun right then. The audacity of him. The  _ impertinence _ . Did he not  _ know _ that the touch sent heat racing through Ten?

“Are you busy? I missed you,” Kun said softly with Ten’s back still to him. “I have some leftover fruit we can share.”

“Are you really offering me  _ fruit _ ?” Ten demanded, whipping around. Why was he in love with Kun was he clearly didn’t even know him? “I don’t eat fruit.”

“You say that,” Kun said with a laugh. “But you do. You’d have gotten scurvy and died if you didn’t.”

“Lies and slander,” Ten insisted, just to be petty. “I’ve never eaten fruit in my life.”

“So you’ve never had this?” Kun asked, holding up half a strawberry. Perhaps the lesser offensive of fruits. “Try it.”

Kun placed the berry near Ten’s mouth as if to feed him and Ten looked at him in disbelief. Kun raised an eyebrow at him in challenge, keeping him in place with his grip at his wrist. Ten narrowed his eyes. Two could play at this game and honestly, Ten was quite good at it. He didn’t know what Kun thought he was playing at but Ten decided to indulge him. As much as he wanted to be ruined, Ten know how to wreak havoc on someone else.

He took the offered fruit into his mouth, wrapping his lips around Kun’s fingers slowly. Perhaps Kun wasn’t expecting that because he gasped lightly at the touch. Ten wanted to elicit the sound again. He let his tongue scoop up the fruit, lightly grazing on Kun’s fingers before pulling away, munching on the fruit as though he didn’t just have his best friend’s fingers in his mouth. 

“It’s sweet,” Ten commented and Kun let out an incoherent noise. Ten looked at him, ready to raise his eyebrow cockily but it was a mistake. He forgot Kun affected him just as much as he could affect someone else and the sight of Kun flushed and looking at Ten with dark eyes made Ten lose his words. 

“You know we have utensils, right?” A voice whined and both of them whipped around, Kun dropping Ten’s wrist as if it had burnt him. Chenle stood at the entrance to the kitchen, looking distraught at what he had just witnessed. “We also have private chambers-”

“That’s enough out of you,” Kun said quickly. “What are you doing back here?”

“I was bored, so I was wandering around,” Chenle replied. “That looks nice! Can I-”

“No,” Kun said, pushing the dessert away from Chenle’s general direction. “It’s for Yukhei.”

Ten left soon after, trying to ignore Chenle’s knowing look. Teenage boys were a menace, in Ten’s humble opinion and Chenle spent too much time with Renjun for Ten to believe he was innocent. He had work to finish and a party to plan. 

Perhaps throwing himself into work to try and forget the intense moment with Kun had been a good idea because, for a gathering planned hardly a day in advance, it turned out splendidly in Ten’s opinion. But he supposed their standards had gotten quite low and just having their friends around was enough of a treat. 

“I am so glad you did not invite anyone else,” Doyoung said from beside him. He’d come straight from his practice and he’d unbuttoned his waistcoat and taken off his tie. No one else was particularly dressed up either which both delighted Ten, because it was not a stiff affair, and agonized him because it meant that Kun was also dressed casually, although thankfully his shirt was buttoned up this time. 

“Are we not people?” Jaehyun asked in mock outrage.

“You are not real people,” Doyoung replied dismissively. Everyone understood what he meant but still haggled him on it to irritate him. 

The atmosphere was comfortable and Ten felt at home. Yukhei had come and brightened up the room and was now explaining with great drama and detail the things he witnessed at the university to an enraptured audience of Sicheng and Kun. Yuta, Doyoung and Jaehyun were having their own conversation and Ten sat on an armchair alone, nursing a glass of wine and looking at his friends contently. He soon caught on the dynamic between Yuta and Sicheng and again felt like he was imposing on something private when he saw both of them look at each other simultaneously between their own activities and smile at each other softly before turning their attention back to their own companions. It happened once, then twice and Ten noticed that whenever one’s eyes wandered off, they’d always land on the other and the other would always notice he was being watched. 

Once, Yuta shot Sicheng a quick wink and instead of getting flustered as Ten had expected, Sicheng bit back a smile, shaking his head fondly. It was only then that Yuta noticed he was being watched by not one, but two people and met Ten’s eyes. Ten’s eyebrow waggle got Yuta standing up and coming to sit with him.

“Is there a reason the host is sitting all by himself?” Yuta asked, settling on the chair beside Ten. 

“The host is content to watch, in the meantime,” Ten replied. “You and Sicheng are sweet.”

“Thank you,” Yuta said brightly. “So are you and Kun.” 

Ten tried very hard not to choke on his drink but failed. He waved away the concerned looks from the others.

“You’re not very subtle, you know?” Yuta continued, unaffected by Ten choking and dying in front of him, patting his back reassuringly. “You never were.”

“What in God’s name are you talking about?” Ten said hoarsely, slowly drinking a sip to wet his aching throat. 

“Your flirtations with Kun were always so obvious but what’s this melancholy I sense now?” Yuta asked. “You seemed on the brink of something when I’d left.”

“Might be my father passing?” Ten suggested. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, as I’ve said before, but that’s not it,” Yuta replied smoothly. Ten should know better than to try and distract him. “I honestly would have expected you to be together by now.”

“Don’t indulge delusions, Yuta,” Ten said, suddenly tired. “We can’t be together now.”

“Why not?” Yuta asked, frowning. Ten sighed. Yuta wouldn’t entirely understand. When Yuta loved, he loved with all his heart and took the risks. He was willing to sacrifice everything and he had, for Sicheng. He was headstrong and he pursued happiness, consequences be damned. Ten didn’t know if he was strong enough for that. Ten didn’t know if he had all the love that Kun deserved to compensate for a harsher world. 

“We have obligations and duties, Yuta,” Ten reminded him. “He’s going to marry some nice girl and all of that nonsense.”

“And you?” Yuta asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

“Me?” Ten mused. “My mother has accepted my choices. I would settle but I don’t have to. I’ll live.”

“You are an idiot,” Yuta said hopelessly, wiping his face with his hand before looking at Ten dead on. “What on earth makes you think Kun’s going to marry some girl?”

“I know him,” Ten said firmly. “And I know what his family expects of him.”

“He  _ loves _ you, you buffoon,” Yuta hissed at him. Ten’s heart ached at the words but he let them pass him by. 

“Maybe so,” Ten said. “But I’m not going to let him ruin his life because of it.”

“Ruin his-  _ let him _ \- Jesus fucking Christ, Ten,” Yuta seemed incapable of words, probably due to rage. Yuta was like that, full of quick, explosive emotions before settling into something wiser.

“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain,” Ten joked.

“If Kun could hear you, he’d kick your ass, you know that?” Yuta snapped.

“I know,” Ten laughed. “Good thing he’ll never know, right?”

“Ten,” Yuta said seriously, his tone sombre enough that Ten listened. “I cannot force you to do anything and honestly, the way we are treated at times, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. The life Sicheng and I lead isn’t easy by a longshot but it is worth it. Kun loves you, I see it in the way he looks at you and you at him. If nothing else, you should talk to him about it. Don’t make his decisions for him, it’s not fair to him.”

“I am merely protecting him,” Ten protested softly.

“He never asked you to,” Yuta said firmly. “I’m serious, Ten. If you don’t want to pursue him, I understand and don’t blame you the slightest. But just because he knows how to put on a happy face doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting too.”

Yuta’s words reminded Ten of his and Kun’s moonlit walk and Kun’s wish for happiness. What did he mean by that? What  _ did _ happiness mean to Kun? Ten had always assumed that Kun would be happy making sure his family was safe and provided for, he’d be happy cooking, he’d be happy with stability. But he had all of that and yet, he spoke of unhappiness as if it plagued him. He watched Kun, watched him laugh at Yukhei’s expressions and he looked perfectly fine, the picture of a jolly man. But Ten knew there was more to Kun then just his kindness and genial nature and his dimpled, freely given smile. Yuta suddenly got up, startling Ten out of his thoughts and bringing the others attention to them.

Kun’s eyes met Ten’s in amusement and they shared a smile.

“Sicheng!” Yuta called out dramatically, for no reason other than for the sake of being dramatic. Sicheng looked at his husband with a simple raised eyebrow. “Dance with me?”

Ten expected Sicheng to decline, to turn away and continue his conversation with Yukhei, leaving Yuta hanging as he often did but to Ten’s surprise, Sicheng smiled and got up.

“There’s no music,” He said but did not stop making his way to Yuta.

“Do we need it?” Yuta asked with a laugh before turning to Kun with pleading eyes and a pout, to which Kun succumbed much too quickly, taking a seat by the piano forte in the corner of the room. 

The music that played was light and flirty but Yuta’s footsteps were lighter as he twirled Sicheng around the room before settling in his arms, swaying softly. Jaehyun and Doyoung brought Yukhei into their conversation and Ten got up, his feet taking him to Kun.

“I didn’t know you still played,” Ten said, taking a seat. Kun smiled at him softly.

“I don’t much,” Kun’s fingers still moved with swiftness and it was hard not to fixate on them as they danced over keys. “Enough to not lose the skill I so painfully obtained.”

They found themselves alone over the piano after a while. Yuta and Sicheng excused themselves to their chamber once Doyoung and Jaehyun had left. Yukhei was being walked back by Renjun and Kunhang. Kun’s fingers moved to a softer, more melancholic rhythm as Ten continued to sit by his side, content to watch the man in rapture. 

Ten tore his gaze away and turned to look at the spot Yuta and Sicheng had been dancing in. He so wanted to ask Kun to dance but he couldn’t find a good enough reason or excuse to do so. They had no one to play for them and Ten couldn’t say something as ridiculous as Yuta’s insistence that they didn’t need music. 

“Have you ever had someone lead the dance?” Kun asked suddenly, fingers unfaltering.

“Hm, I don’t believe so,” Ten said. “I’m usually leading.”

“Do you want to?” Kun asked, shrugging when Ten turned to look at him. “You’ve been staring at that spot occasionally since Yuta and Sicheng occupied it. I figured you were curious.”

“I am,” Ten said. The music trailed off and Kun got up. Ten stared at his outstretched hand.

“It’s quite impolite to keep someone waiting for so long,” Kun said finally. “You should simply refuse.”

Ten slid his hand into Kun’s as a response and allowed himself to lead to the spot he’d been eyeing, under an extravagant chandelier. When Kun put his hand on Ten’s lower back, Ten stiffened before melting into the touch, looking at their intertwined hands held up. 

“Your other hand goes on my shoulder, Ten,” Kun said patiently and Ten positioned his arm accordingly, stepping closer.

“Well, this isn’t strange at all,” Ten said after a moment of stillness. “Aren’t you supposed to be leading?”

“Yes,” Kun said, sounding a little dazed. Kun stepped back, a firm guiding hand moving Ten along with him. It was nice, in its own way, to be lead rather than to lead, to relinquish control but Ten didn’t think he could do this with anyone but Kun, who seemed to know exactly what he was doing, who seemed to indulge in Ten’s strangest whims without Ten having to even vocalize them. 

“What exactly are we dancing to?” Ten asked after several minutes of them swaying easily.

“Our own heartbeats?” Kun grinned. The absolute corniness of the response embarrassed Ten and he had an impossible urge to hide his face, preferably against Kun's neck. “Do you want to twirl?”

“Yes,” Ten mumbled. It was a nice experience, one Ten wasn't entirely sure he would be revisiting but he was glad to have had it, feeling secure when Kun pulled him back in against him. 

“How was that?” Kun asked when they finally pulled away and Kun got ready to leave. 

“Lovely,” Ten smiled. “Thank you for not stepping on my foot.”

Kun laughed before leaving Ten to his thoughts and flustered emotions. 

Yuta’s words rattled around in Ten’s mind even after Yuta himself physically left the next day. There were hugs and near tears from Sicheng as he held on to Ten’s mother and promises to write and visit again and then the house was quiet again. Life continued, Ten somehow managing the estate and not getting a grey hair quite yet. Even though Yuta and Sicheng had only stayed for a few days, Ten had gotten used to their presence, to a louder meal. He ate lunch alone in his study before the silence got to him and he started wandering the estate he spent so much time making sure didn’t fall to ruins. 

He heard a crash when he passed by his brother's room and rushed in to find his brother looking at him sheepishly, metal scraps in his hands as he tried to assemble them again.

“ _ What _ are you doing?” Ten asked exasperatedly. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, Ten-ge,” Kunhang reassured him. “My creation fell apart but it has a tendency to do that. Do not worry.”

“What are you making?” Ten asked curiously. He looked over the sketch laid out on the table of what looked like a blueprint for a machine, his fingers running over the signature. “Who is  _ Hendery _ ?”

“It’s me!” Kunhang said with a grin, pointing at himself. “It’s my pen name!”

“Don’t you mean Henry?” Ten asked in confusion.

“No,” Kunhang shook his head. “Hen _ de _ ry. My penpal from Germany gave me the English name.”

“If your penpal if from Germany, why did he give you an English name?”

Kunhang paused in his reassembling of parts. 

“I didn’t question it,” He admitted after much thought. Ten laughed at him. 

“What is this?” Ten asked, looking over the design. It looked intricate.

“I’m not quite sure anymore,” Kunhang said distractedly. “It was something when I started creating it and it became something else somewhere along the way and it’s still going places. I will let you know once I’ve figured it out.”

“You do that,” Ten said fondly. Ten was ready to turn around and leave his brother to his devices when he was stopped.

“Ten-ge,” His brother called and Ten turned. “What do you think love is?”

“Love?” Ten asked, caught by surprise. “What kind of love?”

“Romantic love,” Kunhang said, still sounding distant. 

“I’m not sure I’m the one you should be asking about that,” Ten said with a laugh. “Renjun has had more lovers in his twenty years than I have my entire life.”

“Renjun doesn’t have lovers, he has flings,” Kunhang replied. “There are few people he’s actually given his heart to and he’s a fool about them.”

“That’s fair,” Ten shrugged. “I am still of no help. Why are you asking?”

“I am thinking about my relationship with Aya,” Kunhang confessed. “We break apart so many times but I suppose distance makes the heart grow fonder and I miss her as soon as she stomps out of my sight. But it’s difficult.”

“Love is difficult,” Ten said. “Relationships require effort and commitment.”

“I don’t know if I want such a volatile love anymore,” Kunhang said. “I want something like what you have.”

“Me?” Ten asked. He wasn’t entirely sure why Kunhang was having this conversation with him rather than his friends or Dejun or Renjun or even Mother. “I don’t have anything.”

“You have Kun-ge,” Kunhang said, taking the breath out of Ten’s lungs without a second thought. “It’s so calm and steady. I want that.”

“Kun is my best friend,” Ten said softly, for fear his voice would tremor if he raised it. “It’s not exactly the same as a romantic relationship. Do you want to be with Dejun?”

Kunhang sent Ten a look so withering, Ten almost wanted to tell him off for it. He was his elder, after all.

“My friendship with Dejun is nothing like your relationship with Kun-ge,” Kunhang said dismissively. “I know you are not that oblivious. You don’t have to hide it from me. I admire your love.”

“Thank you, Kunhang,” Ten’s voice was weak. “But Kun and I don’t have a romantic relationship.”

“As of yet,” Kunhang grinned. “But you love him and he loves you so perhaps you can give me some advice.”

“What advice can I give you, brother, when I cannot even confess to him?” Ten blurted out. 

“I think he knows anyway,” Kunhang told Ten. “Advise me on whether I should hold on or let go.”

“Talk to her,” Ten advised, echoing Yuta’s words. “Communication is important. Then decide what path to take.”

“But- she will yell at me. Or cry. Or both,” Kunhang said with wide eyes.

“That’s the price you must pay for love,” Ten said. Kunhang accepted this with a nod and a thank you and Ten left the room in a daze. 

It seemed like every person and their mother had an opinion on his relationship with Kun these days. Speaking of- he wondered for a moment what his own mother’s honest opinion was. He found her in the living room, working a pattern onto a piece of cloth with intense concentration. She looked up when she heard him enter and smiled warmly.

“I thought it was getting quiet,” She said. “I missed the ruckus Yuta and Sicheng brought.”

“You’ll have to settle for me,” Ten replied and she ruffled his hair fondly. 

“You are no saint,” She said. “You’re simply busy these days. Before, you- well, raised quite the hell,”

Ten let out a loud laugh. She wasn’t wrong. He was an excitable young man when he didn’t have many responsibilities, always off on some adventure with Johnny or Kun. 

“Have I become a boring old man now?” He teased. “I suppose I should camp out at a haunted ruin again, just for some excitement.”

“You’ve matured,” His mother said. “Sometimes I think much too soon. But you’re not that old. You still have so much of life experience.”

Ten hummed in acknowledgement. His mind wandered as his mother continued her stitching and the silence that fell was comfortable. He thought of the life that was ahead of him and how he would be spending it. He would continue managing the estate and perhaps even expanding it someday, when he’s wise enough to make such grand expenses. He’d be sure to provide for his family, perhaps bringing one of his siblings into the fold of the business. He’d go to plays and read books and go on vacations. He knew the handful of close friends he currently had would stay with him, even if they were not physically always with him. Johnny, Doyoung, Sicheng, Yuta, Kun- Kun. 

Kun would, ideally, continue living beside him. Ten wondered how Kun’s life would go and whether their lives would continue to run parallel each other, intertwining constantly or whether Kun someday go in a completely different direction. Ten wondered if Kun would ever leave him and the thought hurt more than he’d ever imagined. But it was inevitable, he supposed and he should get used to it. 

Even if Kun never physically left, since this was his homestead, Kun would leave him in his own way. He’d get caught up in his own world, his father would soon pass on the majority of his dealings onto Kun. Perhaps Kun would have to be like his father, always travelling. 

He would eventually bring a spouse home and they would live beside Ten and he would have his own children and-

“Are you alright?” His mother’s voice startled him. He looked at her and tried to think about happier thoughts.

“I’m fine,” Ten said with a smile but the action felt stiff and wrong. 

“Then why are there tears in your eyes?” She asked softly, reaching out to cup his face.

“I’m just tired,” He reassured her. “You know how emotional I get when I’m stressed.”

“Don’t lie to me,” She scolded him gently. “Your breakdowns of stress passed months ago. This is different.”

“I don’t think I can talk about it,” He whispered. If he spoke any louder, his voice would wobble and then actual tears falling over the edge would soon follow. 

“You can talk to me about anything, my son,” She brushed a thumb over his cheekbone. “My God, you’ve lost weight.”

“I don’t know what to say,” 

“What were you thinking about that left such sorrow on your face?” She asked.

“Kun,” He choked out.

“What of him?” 

“His future,” Ten tried to make his voice as devoid of emotion as possible. “Where he will go. Whether our paths will diverge.”

His mother snorted and the sound started Ten out of his gloomy mood.

“Oh, you are just like your father sometimes,” She huffed in amusement. “Both of  you are fools in love.”

“I never said anything about love-” Ten protested.

“My child,” She spoke louder than him to drown out his words. “If you want someone to stay by your side, perhaps you should  _ ask _ them.”

“Isn’t that too much to ask of someone? Especially of someone you love, someone you would rather suffer and die than let harm come to?” His mother shook her head at his words. 

“It’s like I’m experiencing deja vu,” His mother said, pressing her fingers to her temple before looking at Ten. “It is not your choice to make, Chittaphon.”

Ten winced when his mother uttered his birth name, reminiscing the other times he had heard it, usually followed by a scolding that would scar him for days. 

“Was Father like this too?” Ten asked. He couldn’t imagine his father ever being in as much emotional, vulnerable turmoil as he was in. 

“I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead,” His mother started primly. “And I adored that man but he really did get on my last nerve sometimes,  _ especially _ when he was courting me. Or trying to, anyway. He was rather hopeless and he had all these ideas in his mind about he wasn’t good enough or what I wanted. It was all very dramatic and agonizing for him.”

“And for you?”

“I was mostly exasperatedly patient. I certainly wasn’t making him any sweets,” She hinted and Ten flushed. 

“The world is easier for you,” Ten said.

“That’s true,” She admitted. “But happiness can be found even in the harshest of worlds. We live our little lives and we won’t change the world or leave the comfort of our spaces. So why not find happiness in what we can.”

“We are insignificant in the grand scheme of things,” She continued, sitting back thoughtfully. “History will not remember us.”

“That’s quite nihilistic of you,” Ten retorted. 

“It’s optimistic nihilism,” His mother corrected him with a smile. “They will gossip and things will be hard, of course, they will. But they will also forget and soon enough, they will accept it. They will have to. The question is, is your love strong enough?”

“Or they could kill us,” Ten pointed out.

“I would not encourage you if I thought that was the case. These people are intolerant but not violently so. They will be disgusted and confused but they will always find flaw with us anyway. There is already gossip about the absent Master Qian and about us as well. If you ignore them and smile when you are meant to and keep out of their way, you’ll find people love having something to be scandalized over.”

“Kun would be better off with someone more traditional though,” Ten said, coming to the crux of the matter.

“Superficially,” His mother said. “But would he be happier?”

Ten almost dismissed the notion that happiness was greater than being  _ alive _ but he remembered, again, Kun’s wish under the stars and got up suddenly. He  _ had _ to know, he’d put it off too long and now curiosity was gnawing at him. 

“Excuse me, Mama,” Ten bowed politely. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Hallelujah,” His mother muttered then waved him off. 

He passed by Renjun on the way out and paused. It was not out of the ordinary to see his youngest brother with flowers and other tokens of affection but the roses halted Ten in his tracks. He approached and swiftly plucked one out of the bunch, noticing how the thorns had been cut off. 

“Ridiculous, aren’t they?” Renjun said mildly, running his fingers over the surface of the flowers delicately. 

“That Na boy sure is enamoured by you,” Ten commented. This had been the eighth bouquet sent in the past two weeks. “What have you done to him?”

“Nothing,” Renjun said defensively. “Honestly, ge, I’ve never even seen him in that way. I don’t know why he’s started this suddenly. I believe he’s pulling my leg.”

“Why would he personally pluck out roses for you if it were simply in jest?” Ten replied before remembering he had somewhere to be. “I will free you of this rose.”

“Jaemin personally picked that for me!” Renjun called out as Ten walked away, as though he had not just been complaining about the abundance of roses.

“He would be happy that it is being used for love!” Ten called back. 

He didn’t have to travel far off his field. The sun had set and he could already see a figure out under the bright light of the moon. Ten approached quietly, hesitantly, making sure that if he changed his mind on the way, he could turn around and leave and Kun would be none the wiser. The closer he got, the harder his heart tried to pry its way out of his ribcage and escape, wanting desperately to remain intact.

He was torn between marveling at Kun’s beauty and cursing his stupidity as he looked down at him. Kun had his eyes closed and was breathing softly, unaware that he had company. He was lying on a cloth, legs crossed and feet swaying to a beat Ten couldn’t hear. 

“It would be so easy to finish you,” Ten spoke and Kun’s eyes flew open before crinkling in a smile. “One bludgeon to the head and you’re gone. I could bury you right here.”

“What have I ever done to deserve that?” Kun asked with an easy laugh. 

“The world is hardly fair, Master Qian,” Ten said absently, sitting down beside Kun. “Sometimes people murder for no reason.”

“Sometimes,” Kun accepted. “I would like if my death wasn’t in vain, though, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t murder me right now.”

“Perhaps I have reason to get rid of you,” Ten teased. 

“Oh?” Amusement was evident in Kun’s voice. “Such as?”

“You do not even know the hurt you've caused me, Qian Kun,” Ten responded, meant to be overdramatic and teasing but the words echoed in the silence much too honestly. He played with the rose in his hand, twirling it as Kun found a response to that. 

“I would hope you forgive me,” Kun said quietly. “Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do.”

“You do not do it intentionally,” Ten said, willing himself to keep quiet and let this vein of conversation die. “I don’t mind.”

He felt Kun turn towards him, heard the rustling of his clothes. 

“Do you have an admirer?” Kun asked and Ten breathed out, hoping Kun was going to let the matter drop. 

“Many, I’m sure,” Ten replied. “Why?”

“I was wondering who gave you a rose,” Kun said and Ten froze, remembering his impulsive reason for plucking the rose from the bouquet. 

“I stole this,” Ten smiled cheekily. “Na Jaemin is trying to court my brother. It’s amusing to watch.”

“And why did you steal Renjun’s rose?” 

“He has plenty,” Ten said dismissively, then turned to Kun. “For you.”

It took a moment for Kun to become animated again and gently take the rose from Ten’s fingers. As Kun studied the rose, Ten turned away again. 

“Thank you,” Kun said after a moment. Something in his voice made Ten want to look at him but he refrained, turning his gaze upwards towards the stars instead. They reminded him of his purpose. 

“Are you unhappy?” Ten asked, his voice barely above a whisper but the night was quiet and it felt like a roar. 

“Do I look unhappy?” Kun inquired back, dodging the question.

“Don’t play word games with me right now,” Ten was hardly in the mood. “I’m simply following up on your words, as a concerned friend.”

“A friend,” Kun echoed. “A friend who just gave me a rose.”

Ten didn’t have an justifiable answer for that so he stayed silent. He could say he simply plucked it from Renjun’s bouquet for no reason but that would be a lie. He could say friends could give each other flowers but that would be a lie about his intentions as well. Ten did not want to lie to Kun. 

“I suppose I am unhappy,” Kun said when Ten didn’t speak. 

“Why?” Ten asked. 

“I asked myself that too,” Kun mused, laying on his back again. “I live comfortably. Perhaps I’m not doing what I want but I’m providing for my family and that’s enough. I have good friends, a respectable social life. But something is missing. I’ve been thinking about what exactly that is.”

“Have you figured it out?” Ten asked.

“Yes,” Kun said. Ten waited for more but none came. When he looked at Kun again, his eyes were closed. 

“Well, what is it?” Ten asked impatiently. Kun simply smiled in response. Dear God, he was  _ aggravating _ . “Tell me!”

“Companionship,” Kun said simply and Ten’s entire being screeched to a halt. “The romantic kind.”

“Well-” Ten started and then stopped. This was sooner than he had expected. Oh, Lord, he wasn’t sure he was ready for this heartbreak yet. He wasn’t ready to lose Kun quite yet. Nevertheless, he persisted. “That’s hardly an insurmountable challenge, especially for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have half the population of this town completely enamoured with you,” Ten said with a laugh. “Do not tell me you’re so blind that you haven’t noticed.”

“I have,” Kun said. “But I haven’t paid it any mind, since I don’t want any of them.”

“I suppose you’ll have to travel to find your soulmate then,” Ten suggested. The idea of Kun moving away to look for love made Ten want to hurl himself into the abyss, it truly did. He wasn’t even sure why he suggested that, perhaps he was speaking it into existence. 

“That’s unnecessary,” Kun shot him down. “The person I want is right here.”

Through the course of the night, Ten’s mind had accelerated and halted and jumped through hoops so many times, he was starting to feel a little motion sick. Kun had a  _ person _ he  _ wanted _ . Who was  _ here _ .

“And why are you not currently courting them?” Ten asked slowly then gasped. “Are they married?”

“No, no,” Kun said with a laugh. 

“Then what’s stopping you?” Ten asked. It was a bit ironic coming from him but he chose to ignore it. 

“I am afraid he doesn't want me back,” Kun said. “Which is understandable.”

Ten’s mind got stuck on  _ he _ then  _ doesn’t want me back _ then  _ understandable _ .

“ _ What _ do you  _ mean _ , it’s understandable?” Ten exploded. “That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. Who in God’s green earth wouldn’t want you? You’re literally perfect!  _ Doesn’t want me back _ ! Give me his address, I’ll go challenge him to duel right now!”

“You  _ are _ ridiculous,” Kun replied mildly. 

“So what if some  _ man _ doesn’t want you back?” Ten huffed. “The  _ audacity _ . We’ll find you someone better!”

“I don’t want anyone better,” Kun said simply and Ten wanted to know exactly who this mystery person was that they could make Kun so defeatist and yet so unyielding in his affection and still did not return them. He simply wanted to have a few words with them. 

“What could be so great about this person?” Ten asked grumpily. It was easier to go through the motions and be overdramatic and petulant than let the reality of the fact that Kun was in love with someone else sink in. Later, in the solace of his own chambers, he might.

“I’ve loved him for so long, it’s hard to say anymore,” Kun said with a laugh, voice turning wistful as he continued. “He’s petulant and childish, though not so much anymore. He thinks he knows best. He has this awful habit of making decisions for other people because of that. He’s a bit too willing to martyr himself for the happiness and safety of others.”

“Those don’t seem like particularly lovable things,” Ten pointed out. 

“Aren’t they? I suppose I’m so far gone, I find his faults endearing,” Kun said thoughtfully. “He’s very loving. He works hard. He teases me a lot.”

“So far, his faults outweigh his better qualities,” Ten said critically. “Are you sure about this man?”

“Quite sure,” Kun said, mirth evident in his voice. Ten sighed. 

“Weren’t you going to get married to some girl and settle down and produce heirs?” Ten asked. Now that he knew for sure Kun didn’t want that, he wondered if he’d been a fool to not try and make Kun his. He shook the thought out of his head. He had his own reasons for not pursuing Kun, he wanted what was best for him - though perhaps having this conversation so easily was weakening Ten’s resolve. 

“Was I?” Kun asked, surprised. “I don’t recall ever saying that.”

“It was a given!” Ten said exasperatedly. “It’s what would have been best for you, logically!”

“You are infuriating when you think you know best,” Kun snapped back. Ten felt an odd sense of deja vu, as though the words Kun were saying were an echo of something else he’d heard but he couldn’t quite connect it. 

“It’s because I do, most of the time,” Ten replied loftily. 

“Well, I would appreciate it if you let me make my own decisions, thank you very much,” Kun sounded tired. Ten looked up, wondering how long they’d been out. It can’t have been so long that Kun was already sleepy. Ten had the sudden thought that maybe he was intruding on Kun’s rest. He  _ had _ , after all, been napping when Ten had disrupted him. The silence was becoming overbearing, the knowledge Kun had just dropped swirling in Ten’s head. It was a good time as any to leave, before he did something he’d regret. He made to get up but had barely moved a muscle when he felt a firm grip on his wrist, keeping him frozen in an awkward position. 

“Where are you going?” Kun asked, opening his eyes and looking right at Ten, who wobbled from his frozen state and collapsed back on the floor. His wrist burned where Kun held him and it felt like Kun’s eyes were staring into his soul, which was very vulnerable at the time.

“Home?” Ten asked, unsure. His only goal had been to get  _ away _ . 

“Why?” Kun asked. Ten huffed. 

“You ask a lot of questions,”

“You do a lot of questionable things,” Kun reasoned. “Maybe if you were more direct and clear, I wouldn’t have a million questions about your every move.”

“I am the most transparent person,” Ten announced. 

“A blatant lie if I’ve ever heard one,” Kun said dismissively. “You enjoy being vague and confusing people too much.”

“These attacks on my character are uncalled for, Master Qian,” Ten protested.

“Another thing- why do you call me that?” Kun asked. Ten blinked, unsure of what answer to give since he didn’t know why he’d started doing it or in such frequency. It had started off as a tease but it had evolved into something that felt heavy and significant in his mouth.

“To tease you,” Ten said softly. “You know I love to do so.”

“I do,” Kun agreed. “But you should spare my heart this time.”

“Oh,” Ten grinned. “Does your heart flutter when I call you so?”

“And if it does?”

“Should you be cheating on your beloved as such?”

Kun growled, sitting up, the sound startling Ten. It was a sound he heard rarely, when Kun was truly at the end of his wits. 

“Ten,” Kun said slowly, facing him. His hand was still around Ten’s wrist and he was close. “How many people do I let tease me?”

“Quite literally everyone, Kun,” Ten said. “I always tell you you’re too forgiving.”

“Alright, that was a bad example. I-” He cut himself off in exasperation and Ten frowned. “ _ Ten _ .”

“Yes?” Ten asked with increasing worry. He looked back at Kun’s wide, helpless eyes. “Is something the matter?”

“Is something the- the  _ audacity _ \- Ten!” Kun insisted, although what he was insisting, Ten did not know. 

“Yes!” Ten yelped back.

“Why did you give me a rose?” Kun asked. Ten grew flustered, trying to find the adequate words but failing. 

“Can’t I?” Ten asked. 

“I would rather you didn’t get my hopes up in such a way,” Kun replied. “It hurts.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand-” Ten started but let the sentence go when he saw the look on Kun’s face. 

“It’s you, you absolute  _ moron _ ,” Kun groaned. “The man I’m in love with. It’s  _ you _ . I’m  _ in love _ with  _ you _ and it  _ hurts _ when you’re ignoring this thing between us one moment and then giving me roses the next.”

Ten was struck silent as he processed Kun’s words. He? Him.  _ Him? _ The inner turmoil persisted because he had known, subconsciously, that there was something between them. That Kun loved him, that they could have been something more should the circumstances have been a little different. But he was so sure what he was doing was for the best. It was easy to get wrapped up in his own thoughts and justifications in that way but now, with Kun in front of him with blazing eyes, it was hard to hold on to those reasons. They weren’t flimsy but they disintegrated under Kun’s critical stare.

“Well?” Kun demanded. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I love you too?” Ten said cautiously but they weren’t the right words, if Kun’s reaction was anything to go by. 

“I  _ know _ !” Kun said. “Then why do you ignore me whenever I try to get closer.”

“I do not,” Ten denied and Kun narrowed his eyes before shifting and coming closer, making Ten hold his breath. He came closer still, so closer Ten couldn’t focus on any one feature anymore and simply closed his eyes, going a little dizzy with the lack of oxygen. 

“Look at me,” Kun whispered and  _ dear God _ , he was so close, Ten could feel his breath against his skin. 

“Why?” Ten choked out. “You’re too close, I can’t see anything. Even your birth marks are going to be a little blurry.”

Ten felt a hand on his neck, a thumb stroking his jawline and he gasped, breathing in a shaky breath before exhaling slowly, trying to calm himself down. Ridiculous, this whole scenario was  _ ridiculous.  _ He was more than capable of being sensual and alluring and had certainly had his fair amount of experience but it seemed a simple touch from Qian Kun could make him crumble. Not without a fight though.

Ten opened his eyes to find Kun’s own gaze fixated on Ten’s lips. Ten knew this game, the air already tense and thick and he instinctively reached a tongue out to wet his lips, watching Kun’s eyes move with the flick. 

“You don’t understand what you do to me,” Kun said, voice hoarse. The tone and the way Kun was looking at him made something click in Ten’s mind. They’d always played a subtle game and when their flirtations did come to light, it was accepted and passed on without much thought. Ten had never truly let it settle that those moments and those feelings hinted at something deeper. He’d thought about it and fantasized about it but it had never truly been with the prospect of it ever being reality. 

Now, with desire blatant and the air tense, Ten felt more comfortable.  Desire, he could understand. He’d been here before. He wet his lips again and moved closer, hearing Kun gasp. Their eyes met and suddenly, Ten’s bravado vanished because no one had looked at him like  _ that _ . Swimming in Kun’s familiar brown eyes wasn’t just lust but also vulnerability and awe and fear. It became apparent to Ten how utterly terrified their both were. 

“Ten,” Kun whispered and it sounded more intimate than it had ever before. “Would you allow me?”

“Anything,” Ten almost fell over his words in his haste to reply. “You’re allowed to do anything you want.”

Kun nodded, his hair brushing against Ten’s forehead. It made Ten realize how close they were.

The press of lips felt innocuous compared to the build up it had, sweeter than Ten’s childhood kisses, a soft timid peck. Ten’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact. He felt the need to open them when Kun pulled away to see his reaction but it was rendered useless when Kun leaned in again, placing a firmer, more determined kiss. 

Ten kissed back almost instinctively since his rational thinking mind had been thrown into panic at the fact the thing it had been fantasizing about for  _ years _ was happening. Ten was sure it would go catatonic and Kun might mistake his frozen state for disinterest so he leaned into the kiss, feeling Kun let out a soft moan against his mouth. 

When they pulled apart, they were both breathing heavily. Kun’s eyes seemed hazy and glazed over as he looked at Ten, Ten’s face still cradled in his palm. 

“You never let me do that before,” Kun said, voice low.

“I was a fool, clearly,” Ten said breathlessly before leaning and stealing another kiss. “I’ve seen the light. The error of my ways.”

Kun pulled away from Ten’s quick fervent kisses with a small laugh. 

“Have you?” Kun asked. “Are you sure you’re simply not delirious on desire?”

Kun moved away but settled next to Ten, removing his hand from Ten’s wrist only to let it slide down and intertwine with Ten’s fingers. He lay his head on Ten’s shoulder, so gently it made Ten’s heart ache, a warm presence pressed up against him. He seemed content to look up at the stars and wait for Ten to finish thinking, to lay down his final verdict with conviction. 

The previously unsurmountable need to protect Kun from the world seemed like a molehill rather than the mountain he had made it out to be. It was easy, under the protection of the night sky and the stars, to pretend that they were free and safe, that they could continue living like this without consequence. 

“You deserve better than stolen moments like these,” Ten voiced his thoughts almost unconsciously. 

“Yuta and Sicheng don’t live on stolen moments,” Kun replied.

“We are not Yuta and Sicheng,” Ten sighed.

“Maybe not,” Kun allowed. “But we could learn something from them. It’s hardly like we’re going to announce our love in the middle of the town’s square and kiss in front of the eyes of all people and God.”

“Oh, are we not?” Ten only teased to lighten the mood. “That sounds rather nice.”

“Unless you want a mob after us, no,” Kun said with a light laugh. He then looked up at Ten. “I honestly don’t care about that. I’ve never wanted a love I would have to show off to people. I am more than happy to let our love bloom in private settings. I don’t need the world to know. I need you to know and to accept my love.”

“You demand much too little,” Ten complained. “I feel like I should raise the bar on behalf of you. Imagine if you’d fallen for a less honorable person who didn’t have your best interests at heart.”

“And how would you raise the bar?” Kun asked. 

“Perhaps I should get you a fancy ring,” Ten said, raising their intertwined hands and looking at it.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Kun said kindly. “But perhaps come to a decision about the state of our relationship before you start splurging on accessories.”

A fair point. It was hard to settle on either side with conviction. What they had right then, Ten wanted forever. He knew, realistically, it was harsher and more complicated. But the moment they were living in was real too. Other, harsher moments didn’t make moments like these any less real. There was also a matter of Kun’s own decision. 

“What do you think?” Ten asked. “What would you think if I said we should end this here?”

The words hurt to even say.

“I’d accept your decision,” Kun said. “Of course, I’d think you were incredibly stupid and on the wrong side of history, but I’d respect whatever you decided upon.”

“The wrong side of history!” Ten exclaimed. “Isn’t that a big much?”

“Not at all,” Kun replied mildly. “I have very strong feelings about this.”

“And what if I said we should continue this?” Ten asked again.

“Your decision shouldn’t be based on my reaction, Ten,” Kun sighed. He turned to look at Ten. “What do  _ you _ want?”

“You,” Ten said honestly and watched with delight bubbling within in as the words send a pretty blush flooding Kun’s cheeks and ears. 

“I want you too,” Kun replied. “I want us to finally stop toeing around this and be together.”

“What about your family?”

“They’ll survive,” Kun said dismissively. “I’m hardly the last of the bloodline and I am more than capable of dealing with whatever scorn my parents throw my way.”

“I don’t want you to have to deal with that,” Ten said softly.

“Ten,” Kun sighed. “You can’t protect me from everything. I’m not sure where this complex came from but I assure you it is unwarranted. I’m capable of taking care of myself and I can handle a lot. I’m not some fragile, delicate flower.”

“You look like you are,” Ten said, reaching up and poking Kun’s nose. Kun wrinkled his nose at the gesture. 

“Is my potential discomfort the only thing stopping you from committing to this?” Kun wondered and Ten shrugged. 

“It matters the most to me,”

“Well, in that case, it doesn’t matter, does it?” Kun said. “If we continue, I’m happy but I have to deal with scorn and hatred from society and my parents should this get exposed. If we stop, I live an outwardly respectable life while suffering in misery. We really are in an impossible situation then, my love.”

Well, when Kun put it like  _ that _ .

“I suppose hurt is inevitable,” Ten said hesitantly. It wasn’t himself he was concerned about but rather, Kun, but now the whole ordeal seemed pointless. If they were going to suffer either way, they might as enjoy themselves. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Kun asked, voice carefully neutral. 

“You’re only allowed a couple of dances with others at parties,” Ten started and Kun laughed, a deep joyful sound. “I’m serious. I burn up with jealousy every time but I suppose I’ll rest easier now that I know you’re mine.”

“Silly boy,” Kun said, leaning forward for a soft kiss. “I’ve always been yours. Anything else?”

“Not particularly. You’re pretty perfect the way you are,” Ten reached forward to brush Kun’s hair out of his eyes. “If anything or anyone bothers you, let me know. Stop putting on a happy face for me, alright?”

“I will if you stop running away from me,” Kun said and this time when he kissed Ten, Ten didn’t freeze. He wrapped his arms around Kun’s shoulder and pulled him closer. It was easy to get lost in the feeling, to forget who and where they were, to fall into each other. It was only when they pulled away and Kun began his path down Ten’s jawline and throat that Ten realized they were still outside, somewhere anyone could walk by. It was incredibly unlikely since it was private property and Ten hardly ever saw anyone cross by but still, he pulled away. 

“We should go inside,” Ten said and Kun nodded. “Separately. To our own homes.”

The grin Kun sent him struck Ten as so bashful and gorgeous, he had to kiss those lips again. Kun smiled into the kiss, letting Ten swallow his giggles. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kun asked, lips brushing against Ten’s as he spoke. 

“Absolutely,” Ten said. 

“Okay,” Kun said, finally pulling away completely. “Don’t change your mind overnight and break my heart.”

“And what of my heart?” Ten asked. 

“It’s safe with me,” Kun said sweetly, smiling. The words were easy to believe and they stayed in Ten’s mind warmly floating until Ten finally got back to his own chambers and made it to his bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he started overthinking. He immediately wanted to get up and march back to Kun, demanding what exactly he  _ meant _ and where they were going to go from here. The confession had been sweet but now Ten was lost as to how exactly they would go forward.

He had his own ideas, of course but he needed to know Kun’s and if their ideas aligned and also if Kun would be willing to kiss him one last time as goodnight. It took everything Ten had not to dress himself again and go to Kun’s door before remembering how late it was and how tired Kun had seemed.

The following morning brought uncertainty and pacing. Quite a bit of pacing. Chariya stared at him with concern as he paced the length of their living room, sighing and muttering to himself. 

“Ten-ge, are you quite alright?” She asked finally, putting her rather hefty book away. Ten paused in his motion and looked at her. He had momentarily forgotten she was there. 

“Fine! What’re you reading?” Ten asked, trying to distract his thoughts from Kun. He wasn’t sure how to approach the other man now, whether he should go to him or wait for him to come to Ten. Whether they should downplay their relationship or whether that would only arouse more suspicion. 

“A guide to fencing,” Chariya replied. “It’s not very interesting.”

“Oh, has your interest waned?” 

“No, I simply prefer learning physically rather than reading about it,” Chariya mused before turning back to her book.

“Then why are you reading it?” Ten looked at her in confusion. She looked up and then frowned at the book.

“I’m not quite sure. Force of habit, perhaps? It’s dreadfully boring,” She said, flinging the book away. Ten laughed and she grinned toothily at her brother. 

“Why are you pacing so?” She asked.

“I am anxious,” Ten admitted. He had to speak to someone of it and he would rather it was his sister than a random person he encountered. “I’m unsure of how to go forward.”

“I think you’re going forward quite well as is,” Chariya said, eyeing his impatient feet. “Perhaps you should let your feet guide you to wherever it is you need to be.”

Ten frozen then turned to his sister.

“You know, you’re right,” He said.

“I am?” She asked before brightening. “Of course, I am!”

“You are a genius,” Ten told her as he walked out, purposefully making his way towards the door when he stopped at the sight of Kun near the stairs. He was dressed well and he looked beautiful. It made Ten lose his breath quicker than all the pacing had.

“Hello,” Ten said pleasantly. Kun tore his gaze away from the staircase and towards Ten, brightening when he saw him. 

“I was just going to go to your study,” Kun said. “I would have come sooner but I got caught up in a meeting.”

“It’s alright!” Ten said, leading the way to his study. “Is that why you’re all dressed up?”

“Yes,” Kun replied with a laugh. “Do I look dashing?”

“When do you not?” Ten muttered as he let Kun into the room and closed the door behind them. A quick look at the smirk on Kun’s face told Ten that Kun had heard that. 

“I’m not sure red is your color.” He lied louder, making sure Kun heard. 

“Is it offending you? Do you want me to remove it?” Kun asked, causing Ten to become flustered at the prospect. 

“At  _ least _ have the decency to court me properly first,” Ten choked out. 

“And how would you like me to court you?” Kun looked much too amused.

“Well, you could start by removing articles of clothing I find offensive,” Ten shot back. It was amusing to see Kun turn red as he refused to meet Ten’s eyes. Ten moved closer, cornering Kun against his desk. “Are you shy? You started it.”

“I’m not shy,” Kun insisted, looking at Ten in the eye. “You’re right, we should do this properly.”

“We should,” Ten agreed before his gaze fell on Kun’s lips. “Right now?”

“I don’t have anything planned right now,” Kun said, biting his lip. “I just wanted to spend some time with you. Perhaps we could make a reser-”

“Let’s stay in,” Ten said hurriedly before Kun got any ideas. He reached up and took Kun’s face in his palms. “Away from the rest of the world.”

Kun nodded and his eyes fluttered to a close as Ten leaned in to press his lips against his.  It was something Ten had been thinking about doing all day and he sighed against Kun as he finally got his wish. There, hidden from the prying eyes of the rest of the world, it was easy to get lost in the feeling and lose track of time and place. All Ten knew was that they were safe and there was nothing stopping him from deepening the kiss, pressing against Kun and drinking in the noises he made. Kun’s hands rested warm and heavy on Ten’s waist, keeping him close while Ten’s other hand wandered as it explored the softness of Kun’s hair. 

It wasn’t until Ten’s lips began their own exploration of the clear expanse of Kun’s jawline and neck that Kun breathlessly suggested they moved away from the desk. Ten hummed, pressing a last kiss against Kun’s adam’s apple before pulling him away and ushering him to sit on the couch and settling on his lap to continue his very important exploration.

“I don’t appreciate being manhandled,” Kun complained but it seemed like he was doing it for the sake of complaining so Ten repaid him by biting down on the skin between his teeth, making Kun’s breathing hitch.

“Liar,” Ten mumbled against his neck, soothing the bite with his tongue. Kun’s finger under Ten’s chin brought him up again and the kiss was fervent and all consuming. Ten’s fingers played with the top buttons of Kun’s shirt but he didn’t go farther, letting Kun shudder under the delicate touch of his fingers against his bare skin. 

There was no underlying motivation or urgency to the activity and Ten enjoyed that, their tongues playfully gliding against each other. Laughter came easily as they got messier and Ten got addicted to the feeling of Kun’s laughter against his body. 

“I love you,” Ten whispered against Kun’s lips and Kun froze under him for a moment before relaxing. “Is it too soon?”

“No, not at all!” Kun hurriedly reassured him, hands rubbing Ten’s back soothingly. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Nor am I used to it.”

“I assure you will get used to it,” Ten insisted, kissing a butterfly kiss against the corner of Kun's mouth before he continued hesitantly. “Aren’t you going to say it back?”

Kun hummed and then laughed at the look Ten shot him. 

“Of course, I love you,” Kun said and Ten grinned at him. “What’s not to love?”

“Stroking my ego is a very wise move, Master Qian,” Ten said softly, pressing a deep kiss against Kun’s lips. 

Night had fallen and Ten had only left Kun’s side to light some candles before going back to his beloved. They spent the evening as they would before, talking and jesting, with added benefits of more physical affection and the swelling of requited love bubbling between them. It was everything Ten needed for the rest of his life. 

 

**Epilogue**

 

Sunlight filtered through the stained glass. There was no wind to make the light move but Ten’s fingers danced slowly, making the light reflecting off the moonstone on his ring finger turn the room bright and playful. Even after years, the habit of arriving early persisted.

“I thought I would find you here,” A voice came and Ten’s heart still jumped a the sound after nearly two decades. “Are our guests due soon? Must you meet them here?”

“Of course!” Ten insisted. “It’s tradition.”

“It’s our friends, this is hardly necessary,” Kun said, coming to stand by Ten’s chair.

“Yuta did the same when we visited. I must pull a power move on him too,” Ten said and Kun smiled down at him indulgently. 

The moment took Ten back years ago, when he was younger and his feelings were still volatile. 

“Remember when you told me not to flirt with that girl?” Ten mused and Kun laughed, dimples flashing. 

“That was so long ago,” Kun said, playing with the ring on his finger. 

They were reminiscing a time when neither of them bore the others token of affection. Kun was still lost in thought when he sat down beside Ten and Ten smiled at the sight his younger self had so desperately wanted to see. Ten reached out and took Kun’s hand, simply to make sure he wasn’t a mirage. It was something he liked to do from time to time, to make sure it wasn’t all an elaborate dream somehow. 

They had lived together so long, the years they were together were longer than the years they were not and now, the dreadful indecisive years in between seemed far off and unreal. The promise rings had settled into their fingers from years of use. When Ten intertwined their fingers and marveled at this hands, the light danced off the moonstone and alexandrite, reflections enmeshed in each other against the concrete. 

“Did you put Preeya to sleep?” Ten asked softly.

“Yes,” Kun replied. “I had to bribe her with her favourite lunch tomorrow but I finally got her to bed.”

“She was still practicing?” Ten sighed.

Preeya was their thirteen year old daughter. To the world, she was officially Ten’s ward, a young girl Ten graciously took in after she was found left half dead at the doorstep of one of Ten’s serfs when she was nine years old. When Ten had gotten the news, he’d personally went to check up on the strange girl since the small property was being maintained by an old man who wasn’t quite sure what to do with the girl.

She’d been frail but she’d survived through sheer force of will. It was something the girl had in abundance, as Ten soon found out when she woke up. She had insisted she was alright and would soon leave. When Ten had wondered out loud when she would go, the girl had shrugged.

It had been a struggle to convince the girl, who refused to give Ten her name, to come back to their home with him to recover under proper care and get taken care of by a doctor Ten trusted. Ten finally convinced her by offering her a ride out of town to wherever she wanted to go if she still wished to leave.

The day they got back was one of those days when the house was unusually full. Johnny was staying over, which meant Jaehyun was most probably there. Yukhei was passing by with Mark and Donghyuck that particular day and his mother and sister were helping Kun make dinner, among others. All in all, there were easily a dozen people in the household and you could tell.

The amount of eyes on her made the girl instinctively stand behind Ten and Ten’s heart warmed at the prospect of the girl trusting him enough to protect her, even unwittingly. Ten had shooed everyone away and taken the girl to an empty chamber and called for Doyoung. 

It had taken over a week to get a normal, civil conversation out of the girl and of course, her civility was a reaction to Kun, who seemed to know exactly how to deal with the volatile child. Every day, Ten expected the girl to leave and every day, it felt like the words were on the tip of her tongue when she mechanically spoke to Ten before she closed her mouth and looked out the window instead. 

The girl never spoke of her past or how she ended up where she did when Ten found her. She claimed amnesia but Ten knew she was lying. They didn’t press her, instead allowing her to live with them without condition, hoping she would at least take some money and food with her if she fled.

It wasn’t until Ten found her pouring over a book from Chariya’s youth that he found out a little more about her. She hunched over, staring intently at the words and pictures, frowning. 

“Do you like reading?” Ten had asked, startling her. She had thrown the book away and the reaction made Ten laugh, remembering his own sister doing the same when books bored her. “My mother and sister adore it. My sister would do the same to books she didn’t like.”

The girl had been silent, quickly getting up and retrieving the book before settling back. 

“I don’t know how to read,” The girl had said after a moment in a quiet tone, as though divulging a secret and expecting backlash. Ten had blinked. 

“Oh,” He said. “Do you want to know how to read?”

“Will you teach me?” She asked skeptically and Ten laughed again.

“Lord, no. I’d be quite terrible at it and Kun doesn’t have the time. My brother Renjun is a private tutor, though and I’m sure he’d be willing.”

“Renjun,” She’s whispered, frowning as though trying to remember.

“You’ve encountered him. He has a snaggletooth. Always has a rose on him somewhere.”

Her eyes lit up at the description. Renjun, despite being prone to a quick temper in his youth, had grown up to a charming and stable adult whom children, strangely, adored. 

“What do you want in return?” The girl had asked suspiciously and Ten was  _ wounded _ . He couldn’t say that he wanted nothing except her happiness and safety because she wouldn’t believe him. Instead, he artfully shrugged.

“Work hard,” He’d said. “Perhaps you could help me with the ridiculous amount of papers I have to go through.”

She did end up doing just that a few weeks into her lessons with Renjun, tip-toeing in his study with Kun following in support and asking if he needed help. Kun had glared at him until he’d given her a letter to read. Kun had then sat on the couch in Ten’s study and helped her go through it and the sight made fireworks go off in Ten’s heart. 

Johnny had given her the name Preeya when he was reading a list of names to her in their living room, telling her to pick the one she found pretty. His voice was hoarse when she finally exclaimed at the right one. 

It was around the seventh month she’d been living with them that Ten realized he was no longer waiting for her to leave and she seemed to have no inclination to do so. It took longer for her to treat the house as home and her complex with accepting things that were freely given to her because of love was a work in progress. Currently, she’d found a penchant for the piano and worked on it constantly, trying to prove something to them but Ten thought she was just trying to prove something to herself. 

There was a long way ahead but Ten took pride and joy in raising her and helping her become the best person she could be. Raising her with Kun and watching Kun be a father was the current highlight of his life. She seemed to have no issues with Ten and Kun’s relationship, other than questioning why Kun would be with someone like Ten but the very fact that she would tease Ten was enough of a breakthrough that Ten took no offense to it. It was hard to, when she looked at him softly when she thought he wasn’t looking and when she put a blanket over him when she’d thought he was sound asleep in his study. 

Ten was thankful she was asleep then and cursed Yuta again for the ungodly hour he was arriving at. It was late but Yuta had already set a precedent for being over dramatic and Ten had to follow course, lounging on his throne late at night to welcome Yuta into his home somberly.

Life had hardly been easy but when Yuta burst through the door with an apologetic servant and Sicheng following him and Kun burst into laughter, leaning against Ten’s side and pressing his face against Ten’s neck, in the comfort of their home, it all felt quite worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> the significance of the rings:  
> \- moonstone is incredibly rare and was believed to be frozen moonlight. kun searched for it for a long time before presenting it to ten. to kun, ten inspires the same awe and wonder that celestial bodies do.  
> \- alexandrite is a 'magic stone'. it changes color based on lighting and ten got it for kun because he knows kun would delight in such things and he'd be happy every time he looked at it.
> 
> ten and kun never got 'married' like yuta and sicheng did (only in name). they lived happily ever after though and history ended up straightwashing them as two bros who lived together and died virgins or something.
> 
> come talk to me on twitter @nyankamoto or curiouscat.me/nyankamoto


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